Planning a wedding is hard work as anyone who has gone through the process will tell you. It can be fun, stressful, fight-inducing, but the good news is that more often than not it culminates in a celebration. The planning itself was not so bad for me. I had a year to work with Mike and our families to plan food, venue, flowers, wardrobe, etc. It wasn’t until people arrived that it felt stressful and overwhelming.
Don’t get me wrong…I LOVE our families (especially since I know they’re the ones reading this blog anyway!). But having the focus be on me and Mike for 4 or 5 days was actually pretty hard. It’s like being a hostess constantly – I felt guilty if I wanted to nap or not be around people for just a little while. I was kind of lucky that my sister was sick (sorry sis!) because it gave me an excuse to care for her and maybe even lie down a little. It wasn’t until we actually arrived at our pirate-themed “rehearsal” dinner that I felt I could exhale and relax. Seeing our friends and knowing that we were on a non-stop trajectory toward the wedding was a relief, all down hill from there.
I even remember looking at some of my friends whose weddings I had gone to or been in and said, “why didn’t you tell me it was so stressful?? You don’t share the secrets!!”. Some of them laughed or shrugged but my new cousin responded, “Well we wouldn’t want you to not do it.” …… Fine, I’ll accept that one. But I will gladly share with anyone that this stuff is hard, overwhelming even, and all very emotionally charged (as it should be since it’s a wedding and more importantly, a marriage).
Okay, so it’s hard work – and for some people it doesn’t seem to pay off. I read my fair share of wedding/marriage blogs to pass the time and help with inspiration and at APW some people have shared stories about not loving their wedding. I was prepared for that. A wedding is a wedding but a marriage is much more than that and it’s okay to not love one day.
Luckily, I frickin’ adored my wedding. It was awesome!! And I don’t mind tooting the wedding’s horn – people partied hard. It was raining….whatever. The ceremony made us cry hard and laugh harder. Wine flowed as it naturally would among our boozey families (that’s not an insult, that’s a compliment). In our ceremony we asked people in a call and response section if they would ‘dance at our reception’ and they lived up to their exclamatory yeses. Everyone danced hard and my blisters and splinters could prove it.
I hope the joy we experienced at our wedding is only a small part of the joy we will feel over our life times. I know this isn’t a ‘wedding blog’ but in future posts I will share our readings, vows, and maybe even some toasts because what people said was ridiculously meaningful — the toasts alone made the wedding worth every ounce of work and money put into it.
If I had to go back in time and inform my former self, I think I would still be 50/50 between doing the party and eloping. I have no interest in repeating the process but I’m really glad we did it this first, and hopefully only, time.